Facts vs Feelings

Copyright 2025 Financial Aid Consulting. All rights reserved. No portion of this article may be reproduced mechanically, electronically, by photocopying, or by any other means without the author's permission. Howard can be reached at finaidguy@gmail.com

Emotion lets feelings obstruct good business and sound financial decisions. Making good decisions takes time without regard to hurt feelings or unwarranted guilt. It is business about one of the most expensive decisions you will ever make. 

Taking the time to work things out will be well worth it.

Preparing your child for college puts most families on an emotional roller coaster. It starts with pride, hope, despair, and possibly guilt about paying for it. 

Facts vs. Feelings

Knowing that a child may seek their dream school, which may not be financially possible, adds another layer of angst in which satisfying a child may be less painful, yet sometimes, unrealistically, the cost of education could be more expensive if you are not blunt about your ability to pay. If your heart rules your head, it may take a sacrifice, impact a family’s retirement savings, or the equity in your home. It could also mean co-signing a promissory note without guaranteeing when it will be repaid. These thoughts are not intended to be negative or a harbinger of what will come. They are merely a realistic assessment of the situations that most families should anticipate. Moreover, they should never let their emotions drive the financial decisions that can be much costlier than expected.

Don’t Buy When You Are in a Good Mood

The problem is that either elation or despair may force them to make emotional financial decisions without considering the long-term ramifications. You may relate this to how you feel after buying that shiny new vehicle. After negotiating the best price, you are ushered into the financial office when you are in a good mood. You may purchase an expensive extended warranty, higher than standard financing, and throw in a few extras you had not anticipated. You did this due to convenience, your positive state of mind, and the fact that you were subtly pressured to do so. Your emotions ran wild and forced you to spend more than you planned.

Crunch the Numbers

The cost of college can be just as expensive, yet families may not take the time to crunch the numbers and realistically determine who will cosign and be responsible for loan repayments. Although this step is often overlooked, I implore all families to turn off their emotional roadblocks and prepare for a serious talk with the student. It is time to evaluate lenders and their repayment terms and to gain commitment from the students to ensure that the cost of college is within both the student’s and the family’s budget.

Throw Down a Challenge

Be transparent about extraordinary expenses and challenge the student to find ways to reduce costs. One way to do this is to take advantage of work-study or part-time work, or become an RA in the dorms. Regardless of the steps, families must realize that this is a partnership in which each member works toward a common goal: finishing college without overwhelming debt. Families must also consider other siblings and retirement savings that should not be jeopardized.

Before beginning this process, take a deep breath and take the time to talk things over with the student. Be honest, forthright, and fair so that each student knows the reality of your financial position, types, and borrowing costs, and why long-term strategizing will minimize the emotional decisions and possibly reduce the cost of college.