Control Yourself
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“If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” DALE Carnegie
Why are many parents and students panic-stricken when confronted with the reality of finding or paying for college
It is not like a phobia or anxiety disorder that cannot be easily overcome. It is a normal emotion that everyone experiences and can easily conquer. Most often, fear and anxiety are more the result of what others may tell parents how they should feel, especially if they find the process overwhelming or disappointing.
Control Emotions The good news is that this fear often results from what parents do not know or is driven by emotion rather than information-based thinking. In other words, getting the facts to make the best decisions is much more powerful and less costly than those based on guilt or to get things over with.
There are many ways to overcome these fears and worries. One of the most significant causes of worry is too much idle time, which causes one’s mind to churn out just about everything that can go wrong rather than focusing on the positives that go right. This wastes good energy that could be put to more productive use.
Learn to breathe, relax, and have fun. There will be a solution if you chill out.
Set realistic expectations that can lead to positive results rather than setting goals that are too high. Dreaming about getting into the best college and receiving the most financial aid is all right. The odds of that happening are not as high as finding less competitive and more affordable colleges that offer the best financial aid packages.
Evaluate each college with the same criteria. I can always tell when families stray off course when they describe the college they visit. Common descriptions are “Liked It,” “Nice campus,” and “Can be with my friends,” which are signals that evaluations were based on how things looked rather than what they offered.
After visiting many colleges, students often forget which ones were which. College selection is a chance process without a plan or criteria that can be costly, especially if the fit is not there. A plan can be as simple as a spreadsheet listing criteria such as majors, dorms, size, transportation, costs, scholarships, aid money, test scores, acceptance and dropout rates, student services, etc. Doing this will provide an invaluable tool to rate each college (I suggest a 1 to 10 scale) after the campus visit. Parents can do the same with their additional categories.
Scholarship searches are necessary to find merit-based aid. The problem is that there are so many that it can be hard to narrow the field. Do a random Internet search for scholarships to get ideas of what is available and the criteria. Students should start the process in their junior year and the summer before their senior year. Remember that the Internet and scholarship books exclude thousands of local and college-awarded scholarships for which the student’s chances are much better. One of the best sources is merely networking with people parents and students know from work, external organizations, or by just finding companies in the phone directory that may offer scholarships that can add up.
Determine if the cost of college is worth it. After selecting a major, find out where the graduates will work and the organizations that recruit them. For example, an elementary education major earning $35,000 may be best off attending a more affordable state college than a pricier private college, which would result in a larger debt load upon graduation.
Could you take a look at the numbers? Some colleges and for-profit institutions offer scholarships that may seem generous but are not. Please keep in mind that if a scholarship is too easy to obtain, it is a small discount on the total college costs. Don’t make quick decisions until you are shown the total attendance costs and fewer scholarships. Don’t feel pressured, but walk away until you can evaluate the merit and affordability of the offer.
Review family expenses to evaluate which expenses can be reduced or eliminated. Cell phone plans, students’ car insurance, the Internet, and entertainment expenses are some ways to cut costs. Add consumer credit card debt at high interest rates, and home mortgage refinancing that can free up much-needed cash.
Be open to other alternatives. There is nothing wrong with attending a two-year college rather than a mediocre four-year college. Many students may not be ready to plunge into a four-year program. Moreover, if they fail at a four-year college, student loans will become due much faster. By just saying “no” or not worrying about what others who don’t pay the bill think, it will not be the end of the world. Ultimately, the student can still receive a four-year degree by just taking another path to get there.
Beyond two-year colleges, the military, AmeriCorps, the Peace Corps, and other organizations provide excellent opportunities to gain real-world experience, receive financial aid for college, and relieve stress.